Too Much Money

I never though I would see the day where I was told I couldn’t do something because an account has too much money. No, it’s not my money; it’s the government, which makes this tale a little more entertaining.

How things work in the Army is that I send a request someone (let’s call her Martha) to set up an account in this new and worse system we are required to use. Once it is set up, I inform my customer (Let’s call her Pat) and they fund the account and fill out a form telling me that they have done so, and with what amount. There are a few other things on said form, but they don’t matter for the story. Once I get that form, I plug the financial information into two other systems (that’s three so far), and then send the signed form back to the Martha. Martha is not a member of my team; she has nothing to do with my contract, other than to set up accounts for bills to be paid.

Here where things got a little weird in my tale. I split the money into to “checks” to go onto contract. Don’t ask why, I have a good reason for the money to have been separated and all of those reasons are legal, legitimate, and have the blessings of Pat, since it is her money. So, for ease and because I don’t know the exact amounts, I am going to use round numbers.

Let’s say Pat sent me $200,000 a few months ago. I put $100,000 on one check and a month later I put another $100,000 on a different check. Later in the year (today) Pat sends me another $100,000 and I try to put it on the second check (all of the correct forms are signed and say $200,000 plus $100,000 equals a new total of $300,000).

Well, Martha looked at the form, then looked at the amount I was trying to add to the check, noticed that the new check total would equal $200,000, $100,000 less than the form. So, according to her, I have too much money in the account to put money onto contract. Which is wrong, since she forgot the original check that she approved.

But still, there is too much money in the account for the check to be approved and sent to contract. WHAT?!?!?!? Only in the government.

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