An Ugly Divorce

Well, the poles are closed, and now we just have to wait for the results. It looks like the United Kingdom isn’t as united as the name implies. It looks like they are about to go through an ugly divorce. The reasons for the separation, and the reasons for them staying together are sound. It’s a good thing that I do not have a right to vote out there…

There are some things that should concern us as U.S. citizens. I mean, we are like the friend who has to try and not pick sides when two friends get a divorce. Something a few of my friends know a lot about.

1. The United Kingdom’s nuclear arsenal. The weapons of mass destruction that we always seem to be looking for in Iraq are actually hiding in Scotland. The good news is that this does not seem to be something that each country will fight over. That is not to say that there is not a problem. The Scottish don’t actually want the weapons, but the British don’t have any place to put them. My solution, as far fetched as it is, is for the United States to buy them. They are probably ours anyway. I’m sure we could get them for pennies on the dollar.

2. What about the oil that is currently under Scotland? That is something that the British may want to fight over, but they really don’t have much of a claim. The Scottish had the oil before the marriage, even if they didn’t know about it. I say the English should let them have it. I saw a study that said that no one even knows how much oil is left. So let them have it and lets make this a somewhat peaceful divorce.

3. What will the Scottish use as their currency? It’s not like they can expect to remain on the British Pound. Will they go to the unstable Euro? Will they create their own currency? This is something that they should be more than a little concerned about. They need to have the financial backing, and it is not going to be easy to get that started. And all of this could destabilize the Pound, which is already being affected. Who knows, maybe trading in wool and sheep will catch on. It would probably be a more stable economy than one based on the euro, or the pound, or the dollar.

Of course, all of these issues may not even be problems if the Scottish vote to stay together. Their conservative neighbors to the south have bullied them for 300 years so far, what are another 300? And 300 years is a long marriage, mine couldn’t even last 3 years.

And has anyone else noticed that the conservatives always seem to be in the south? Are their conservative Iraqis in South Iraq? Are their conservative emperor penguins at the southern most point of Antarctica?

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