Yard Sale (actually, nothing to do with a yard sale)

Today I got a notice from the Property Managers Board of Directors, not something that is uncommon. It was directed towards all homeowners, so of course I wasn’t going to take it personally. However, the letter itself was kind of entertaining. The words in bold are my comments.

Subject: Community Reminders and Yard Sale Ok, I actually bought some stuff at the last yard sale, this might be good.

1. Please do NOT put your trash out on days other than the day of trash collection- which is Wednesday- as this invited rodents and creates an unsightly community. Also- Please put away your trash cans ASAP. After the trash is collected. Trash cans are not to be in public view except on trash collection days. Trashcans should be one word, but that’s minor. These people do love their – marks. Also, one morning I had to run outside to make sure I caught the trash collectors on a day I took off. That was at 7 am, I have NO issues with people putting out the trash the night before. And the cans are not to be in public view? So, people without garages have to keep them in their house? That’s messed up.

2. Please be sure that all trash bags are securely closed and other materials are secured so that the debris does not blow all over the streets. This includes recycling. Most of the debris probably comes from the trash collectors dumping the trash into their trucks. Every time they come through I see garbage all over the road. I highly doubt that it is from the community. And I had to walk two blocks once just to find my garbage can; at least I think it was mine. And how are you going to prove whose trash was blown all over the place? As for securing the trash, I am not going to use my lid. I am pretty sure that the collectors used it as a Frisbee last time.

3. Please be aware of your vehicle speed at all times. Look for pedestrians, children on bikes but not children playing in the street? and pets at all times. Leashes? We have many children in our community and vehicles are going much too fast. We love our kids do not and do not wish to see anyone injured. Wow. Can’t really argue with a lot on this one. I was actually passed here. Speed limit is 30, I was doing 35, and I was passed. And most kids in the area are not too bad, but some walk in the middle of the road. Screw them, to stupid to live.

4. If you are considering adding exterior alterations to your home such as a deck, fence, patio, storm door, etc. – you must submit a Request For Exterior Alteration to be sent to Tidewater Property Management. All requests MUST be approved by the Architectural Review Committee BEFORE construction can be started. Storm doors? Really? Again, I can agree with most of this, but STORM DOORS? I probably need permission to paint my doors as well.

 

This wasn’t the entire letter, but I did notice that the letter did not have any mention of the yard sale. That was a pamphlet included in the envelope. So, the subject line should have just been “reminders.”

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