Am I smarter than my cats?

No. Well, that was a short and easy blog.

But I have been thinking about this. I have lived with these furballs for over a year now. And while I do enjoy their company, I am also having jealousy issues. Let’s start with the obvious. I am the one who goes into work for nine hours a day while they get to stay home and sleep and eat and sleep. At least that’s what I assume they are doing while I am at work. When I am home on a weekend, that’s what they tend to do. I really want that life. I want to be able to sleep all day, but someone needs to earn cash to pay for our food. It reminds me of when I was married (probably shouldn’t have said that).

On top of paying for their food, I also have to clean up their output, from both ends. I have to clean their cat litter, hairballs, and I am the one who cleans up the mess when they throw up. I don’t see them doing that for me when I am feeling sick (or get too drunk). Actually, I don’t think that they would care if I left the hairballs and puke where I found it, but I care.

Now, those are the obvious statements that have been said many times before. But lets look beyond that. These cats have never had to survive on their own and have never been out in the wild. They have never had to catch their own food; it comes from the giant weird looking thing every day at the same time. And even how they treat their water supply shows how smart they can be. Loki likes his water from a fountain, a sink, or in a bowl in the master bathroom. Please don’t ask me to explain that. I never thought much of this until I read an article about why “domesticated” cats prefer their water away from their food supply. It turns out that they are still reacting to being wild cats. Apparently, if cats know their food is to close to their water supply, they know the water might be contaminated with germs, viruses, and other things that may get them sick. They are smart enough to know that moving water is healthier. This is why my fat cat either drinks from moving water or from a water supply away from his food supply. I would never have thought about that. I know that stagnant water should not be used as drinking water but I would never have thought about the food being to close to it.

Even how the cats use their litter shows how smart they are. The still cover up their leavings, or try to at the very least. They would do this in the wild to hide their presence from predators and prey. Yes, my cats have no predators to worry about (although I have been known to chase Loki around the house) and as for their prey, the canned cat food isn’t going to run away, but they still have that instinct.

And don’t give me that crap about opposable thumbs. Loki has managed to open doors (with door knobs, not the handles) all on his own. I have no idea how he does it. When we got hit with the earthquake, he was the smart one who stayed on the bottom floor. He doesn’t care if there is snow on the sidewalk while I am outside freezing. If he’s tired, he naps. If he’s hungry, he eats or gets me to feed him.

And I know that if I died, these cats would probably miss me until they ran out of food. Then I would become the cat food. Dogs will starve to death waiting for their owner to feed them. Cats will wait until they are hungry and then they eat their housemates. I can’t really consider them my pets. I am pretty sure I am only tolerated because I feed them.

And if left on our own in the wild, I think Loki and Angel would survive while Pips and I starved to death. And with our fatness, I am not sure who would starve first.

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