The other day it was accidentally and unintentionally pointed out to me that it was exactly 10 years ago that I proposed to the now ex-wife. I figured that now, since 10 years have passed, would be a good time to blog about it. Plus, I now have a blog, and that always helps in blogging.
First, how does one accidently and unintentionally remind someone of that? Well, first you need to know the timing of when I proposed. I proposed right after a friends wedding reception. I was in a tux, had the candles, and probably sapped all of the romantic ability out of me on that night. So, a couple of days ago I decided to call my friend to ask him some questions about my computer. No big deal, I do it all the time. Except, I could only get him on his cell phone. After I got my questions answered, I asked him why he wasn’t at work, I mean, the mas does work, usually. It turns out; he was in Florida, at Disney, with his wife. They were about to that lunch and here I was calling them on their wedding date. Oops, my bad.
I actually don’t regret proposing, though I kind of wish she said no. But I don’t regret proposing, and I don’t completely regret getting married. I admit, I do regret the lost time and the lost friendship. I am also not sorry that it ended, in fact, I am very happy it ended as easily as it did. We would have made pretty good friends, but we sucked as a married couple. Neither one of us were happy, hell, we were both miserable. You know you need to make a change when you are contemplating driving into a guardrail just to end the misery. Luckily, I was smart enough to realize that asking for a divorce was a much better option. Suicide is so much more final. And while I do have hobbies that put my life on the line, skydiving for example, I don’t actually want to die.
I don’t hate her, but I don’t want to be friends with her. And I try to have a little to do with her as possible, but having mutual friends does make that kind of hard. But, that’s life. I don’t wish her ill will, never have, and never will. Ok, there was a time when I may have, but I moved on.
Plus, I think if I were still married, I would never have gone skydiving, cage diving, or have taken up SCUBA diving. Maybe it would have been cheaper if I stayed married, but I wouldn’t have lived up life.